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July 28 A new beginningTake This Life
Paul Wright
Take this life,
Forgive me for the words I spoke Before they ever left my throat My heart would rather rebel than obey. Forgive me for this life of sin I know I need A new beginning Lord I’ve gone astray. (Chorus:) Take this life Make it yours. Do what’s right Oh Lord. You got to take this, take this life. You got to make it, make it right. Take my flesh Take my pride Take the sins I try to hide Take my doubts Take my fears all the pain and all the tears And I fall down on my knees Lord I’m begging Ya please Lord Take the shame Take the blame it’s all the same. (Chorus) Take this life. Take this life Take this life I don’t want to live a life that’s compromising to the King I’d rather live for You than live for me or any thing. (Chorus 2x) May 06 When I am tiredIt haunts me so This gloomy weight That comes and goes Without a trace A thousand times my flesh embrace A thousand more but if for grace To see the Lord the promise land Where in all sins pearly gates look bland And what was once a pearl now sand That blows away in light of Him When battle lines become unclear And the waging war is all I hear Lord, sustain me with Your voice and the choice to walk in truth That I might see this day This waging war might go away and be no more That I might see his face And hear Him say Son welcome home The war is over To see the Lord, the promise land Where in all sins pearly gates look bland And what was once a pearl now sand That blows away That blows away That blows away in light of Him Oh go away Go away Go away in light of Him Blow away, o waging war of sin April 28 I waited on the LordI waited on the Lord, Most High
I waited, and He heard my cry
He pulled me out of my despair
And taught me how to walk
From fear into security
From quicksand to the rock
I will sing to you, O Lord, my strength and my song. None can fathom your infinite love, nor your mind that is beyond comprehension, nor your grace that is wider than the heavens. You break the chains upon my soul, and call me your beloved daughter, raising me from defeat to joyous praise. Yea, I will sing of your love forever - who can explain the wonder of it? There are not enough words, and so my praise will continually be lifted, for the well of peace and strength within will never run dry. Create in me a clean heart, a teachable spirit. Give me the eyes to see what you see in this world, the heart to feel what you feel, and the wisdom to know that I will never stop learning. Fill me with your compassion....I praise you for your wonderful faithfulness...your steadfast love and mercy awaken my heart to love you more every day. February 26 God is so faithful.... Only the Lord can heal the broken...and He has certainly touched my life in a miraculous way this weekend - first in church this morning and then with a conversation with someone later. His love and mercy and grace are truly beyond compare!
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, He put a new song in my mouth, Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:1-3,5 (NIV) February 23 What of the death I still dwell in?The past week has been one of deep reflection....and I don't like what I've found. A wound far deeper than any I've ever experienced has been allowed to fester and spread. I tried to stop it...but...it's reached out to wrap its ugly tentacles around every relationship...around all of me.
Life used to be so bright, so beautiful....every moment was a joy....and then.... Joy turned into anger, and anger to bitterness. Colors faded, the dizzying heights of emotion crashed down and all became pain.... True enjoyment is now very rare.
How do I remember that I'm valued and loved when the person I loved the most became someone I despise? When, without words, he tells me every day that I am worthless and that he wasted his time on me?
How do I live when I feel that the one I once loved has died?
How do I go about my classes and work when I want to stop and scream and run away to be alone? Even with the love around me that would do anything to make me feel better...
How do I let God carry me when I feel I've fallen out of reach?
How do I have faith and trust when deep, deep trust has been broken?
How do I live and love when my heart feels like it's grown so cold?
I know the answers to many of these questions. I know that God is faithful. But it's a knowledge of the head....so easy to say, and impossible to feel sometimes. Because I feel so dead inside...almost all the time. Feelings of love for others, for the Lord...they seem but a shadow of what I know is possible.
I wish I could say that I'm over it - that I didn't love him anyway and I can live with his rejection and disrespect. But I can't - and won't - dishonor what we did share for some time....and that was wonderful...while it lasted. And the fact that it's gone - killed, destroyed, mutilated - leaves me shaken with anger and a hurt too deep to express with words.
I confess that I was wrong to give him so much of my heart....perhaps I turned him into an idol in some ways, or part of an ideal.
And then there's that little snide voice in the back of my head that says "what do you expect? if you had been faithful - or hidden your infidelity from him - none of this would have happened. it's all your fault...a punishment for what you did...and if you think that was the end of it, think again. you've allowed temptation to get you again since then, and the result from that - it's going to swallow you alive....and not just you, but those you love, too...."
Not so easy to shake off when your world has been turned upside down....
Oh how I need You Lord
You're my only hope
You're my only prayer
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
Come and give me LIFE February 12 The Love Chapter1 Corinthians 13
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. February 05 "I'm good...how are you?" Yeah, right...Okay...two weeks into the semester already, and it feels like we're all waiting for spring break again. Why? Well, I know that for me, I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it's hard to keep focused on my academics. Not that it's a vicious semester again in terms of classes...not that they're boring, because I'm actually enjoying them.
But people are precious...and I just want to pour out all my time and resources into those around me. One thing I've learned in the past few months, it's that time keeps flowing and people keep changing. If you don't keep up, if you don't cut through the layers of small talk and superficial "happiness" and get down to the heart, you're going to wake up one day and find you don't really know those close to you.
I've experienced that on a personal and a group level...fortunately, the latter is able to be salvaged because the whole group has come to the same realization and is working to communicate better. But the former... If it weren't for Jesus, and the knowledge that He loves me and will never abandon me no matter what, I don't think that the recovery I've made would have been possible.
Be honest, and be ever ready to share what's in your heart. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and strength...let that river of love overflow into others - even when it hurts. Question....probe....challenge. Don't let silence stand...be the first one to break it, the first one to be honest. Only when we let the truth about who we are and what we feel get out in the open can we interact with people the way we're supposed to. Even those deep dark secrets....letting them out releases regret and fear so that we can leave those chains behind.
Lord, I thank You for Your faithfulness. I've seen Your power at work in my life and in the lives of others. Thank You for calling me to You without fail....working tirelessly in me to make me more like You, as I've prayed for so long. I understand that the process of being refined hurts, and takes time....I give my fear, pride, and impatience to You as You take away the parts of me that I despise. I love You!
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